Your Life's Purpose: What Will You Make It All Mean?

Ladies, some of us have been been getting it all wrong. We've heard time and time again that our comfort zones aren't fulfilling. And that it's NORMAL for us to surround ourselves with what's familiar. But, from what I've seen (and heard and read), I'm telling you right now - Our comfort zones are where our dreams, and our PURPOSE go to die.

I've been on my own self-growth journey for 20 years now. Maybe longer. And, for me, I know it will never end. NOT because there's anything wrong with me (P.S. That goes for YOU too), but because there are layers to who we are, along with shifting identities, and evolving priorities, and different meanings of life in different seasons of life.

What contributes to YOUR unique purpose?

When we're brave enough to be HONEST with ourselves and others that something has changed, that WE have changed, that we WANT something different, we unleash what might feel like a Pandora's Box on our lives. But is there really harm involved when we're embracing more honesty, doing things with more intention, and weaving more purpose and joy into our very being? Here's where we get it twisted. A wise woman once told me, when we think about change, we ALMOST ALWAYS equate it with something negative. Which is so baffling to me, considering we spend a majority of the first 20 years of our lives literally changing all of the time. Somewhere along the way we forget that all of that change wasn't a bad thing (although there are DEFINITELY moments and even seasons that are anything but enjoyable), and while it was uncomfortable, what it ultimately meant was that we were experiencing something new, or experiencing something old in a NEW way. I'm not surprised that most of us, after that first 20 years, equates change with "bad". And that (on the other side of that) we do almost anything to minimize change from our twenties to our thirties or forties. We CRAVE consistency. Our minds WANT what's familiar. Survival tell us that the more we know what to expect, the "safer" we are. And, once upon a time, that was true. But when that WAS true, we were also faced with challenges on a daily basis that contributed to our resilience, to our self-satisfaction, to our connection (with ourselves and others) and to our sense of purpose. I'm going to say something now that some of you might not like, but it needs to be said; If you're not willing to make yourself uncomfortable and do hard things, your ability to build resilience and self-trust and confidence, let alone feel like your life has any meaning to it, will CONTINUE to evade you. Remember how I said that our comfort zones are where our dreams go to die? It's true.

This isn't the time to B.S. yourself, and I won't B.S. you either. AND I'll tell you EVERYTHING with a TON of grace and love.

Your purpose is alive and well. Always. Whether you're LIVING your purpose - Well, that's another story. You can say you don't know what it is (your purpose), and that could be true (I've been there - I get it). But you're NOT going to figure it out by avoiding yourself, by avoiding being honest with yourself, by avoiding how you feel, and by avoiding being HONEST with yourself about what you WANT. We tell ourselves more often than not that all of the seemingly "random" pieces of our lives don't or can't add up. But what's more apt to be true is that they DO add up, but we're so busy trying to control every step or dynamic, or exercising our Jonah complex, or overthinking, over-analyzing, and paralyzing ourselves in anxiety and worry, that we rob ourselves of the very ability to truly SEE ourselves, and open up to how the unique and intricate pieces of our lives create something wonderful that allows us to bring our rare gifts to the world. You. Are. A. Rare. Gift. You. Have. A. Rare. Gift. The question is, are you willing to see it, embrace it, AND use it? My son used to get upset when I called him special (it was definitely meant as a compliment when I said it). For whatever reason, he equated that with meaning there was something "wrong" with him, something "off" about him. And that's how I see most of us react to our specialness, as if it needs to be denied, or hidden or diminished or ignored. When I think of the term special, I equate it with "unique" - There's something that you or I or they can do that NO ONE else can do in the same way, with the same voice, with the same relatability, and the same intention. YOU are fucking special. Period.

And I don't know if it's the frustration of NOT knowing your purpose, or the idea that it "should" be something that it's not, or a fear of standing out or taking up space (boy is that a deep rooted issue for most women) that keeps so many of us from finding it and embracing it. What I CAN tell you is that you CAN figure out what it is. Not what your Mom thinks it is (although some Mom's WILL be right), or what society tells you it "should" be, or that it's what you went to school for, but what it ACTUALLY is.

I'll let you in on another secret - I'm not entirely convinced that everyone's purpose is some big, Herculean thing (which means my internal jury's still out on this one).

Finding and LIVING your purpose doesn't mean you have to go at it alone.

I think that being the joy filled, heart centered neighbor next door, that's always willing to welcome people into their home, or into conversation, with a warm heart and a listening ear might be JUST as impactful as being someone like, say, Tony Robbins (that's a conversation for another day because Soul Contracts). I've done a lot of back and forth thinking with MYSELF, about this very thing. "Am I playing small? Is this me copping out of my purpose? Am I MEANT to do something or be someone 'bigger'?" Either way, what I do know is this - When we KNOW our purpose, the rest of life gets easier (notice I didn't say EASY), and this is why: It becomes, among other things, the thing that can guide your decisions, create a hierarchy for what you prioritize, and tell you what thoughts, decisions, goals and actions align with who you TRULY are and what you're meant to do. It becomes the guiding force for things you do every day. It keeps you "in the game" when things get hard. And it keeps you inspired and motivated to positively impact collective change in this world. I don't know about you, but that sounds WAY better to me than feeling like I'm at the mercy of this thing called life. What I can say (for myself) with absolute certainty is that, were I to die tomorrow I WILL have lived my purpose. The lives I've touched, the positive impact I've created, the lives I've literally changed, all by being who I am and aligning that with what I do (and I don't just mean "my job"). I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that my presence here matters, that I've touched lives and created change that deeply and truly means something - not just to a handful of people, but to the world. It's the ripple effect of what I've done and continue to do that lets me know what it was all for something. And THAT, my friends, 100% keeps me going EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is what I want to leave you with: As you navigate the next few days, reflect on this: Don't ask yourself "Can I do this?" Instead ask yourself, "What can ONLY I do IN this?" It's not about the things we can do - which are too numerous to count. It's about the things ONLY YOU are uniquely qualified and inspired to do that make it mean more than you ever imagined. Please PLEASE remember to believe in yourself along the way. And for those moments where you struggle with that, or need a reassuring voice, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to lean on - I'm here. All my love 💗 P.S. If you ever need ANY help, with any of it, please don't hesitate to reach out. That's why I'm here - That's MY purpose - To guide amazing women like you back to themselves. 🫶🏼